Collapse/collect -sleep/repeat relapse/destruct hydrate/deplete return/rebound respect/defeat create/destroy descend/descend create/revamp ascend/upend deluxe/demand get praise/achieve return/to mind accrue/some time create/destroy descend/descend return/unwound turn off the lights reflect/the change and turn the tide with time/with help an end/avoids the need/of ends devoid of time a nap/a walk command your day ascend/descent and walk away pretend/protect unhand/unmask rewind/your day just stay inside I've been on the carpet I've been on the bare floor hibernate my concern for everyone I care for primal head space took me for a blind date had the lobster, pasta, shrimp and steak trays of figs and dates hey it pays to wait scrape the pain away taste is something I took for granted, reprimanded hate but late is better than your never denim headed thick and apple scented hallows eve is even hollow beasts they're feeding Steven wicker man head of son of sam with a bitter plan mix the bitters in til the bitter end tears still taste better than blood couplets toss the critters in pan fried til the man dies or his credit card helps take the lambs life to the center of the splinters eye truly run the credits by here is my side oh nevermind well never my mind time is cringing lost and soft within it lofty ambition head spinning cataract cloud holler back till the bones pulled from my hollow back louder crack ouch how about now? neosporin wash the cut out fist hurts mouth head thorn crown what'll I wear with the color of my own shroud? men catapult towards the news of the day but their feeble attempts of commentary escape I was never gonna be the center of my own universe never gonna feel at home in a size smaller shirt heaven only knows me by my baby pictures anyway grinning with a gritted set of teeth and move my tongue away

-Great talk the batters in the box ask him bout Basquiat for you I'd sell my socks my soul my whole well being my cheat code my credo my needless words and bells and curves let's sweat these stitches out visions tampers with my dreams lean in seem thin and pewter lids will part lips will pout let's make sad sounds like we hear around let's speak our names and forget the nouns let's have a toast for those still around smoke in the air like my daddy's soul I only write these words that I think I know and when I put the pieces in a fold out letter but the coffins there and I should be better but the feelings always and the feelings never and i'm not surprised but I'm not that clever to be honest I would never see a ghost and sometimes that hurts but that's the way it goes only wear 3 shirts that's the way it goes I only wear my wallet in the back pocket of my slacks and when I'm talking slacks I'm probly meaning jeans I seem to get caught up on unimportant things Mind won't stay still for 5 minutes won't let me finish people always say things better than I do have to learn cope it's my sense of survival throat feels scratchy heads full of mirrors have to play pretend about a caring appearance but I feel that my thoughts are very clear and apparent and the ones who were close are the ones disappearing not by their hand mines full of scarves a rabbit once lived in my arms now it sings sad songs in a bar basic til the day that I choose to live aint there something I was sposed to write I know I owe a few tracks to some folks who probly think I died you brought me back to life but on the other side I'm only half alive and then the other half of me probably needs or deserves you my mind is not all dark it just needs a curfew greeting cards are fine but I'm needing to work through day to day breakfast and lunch in my purview off white perception and color of daylight All of it orange in its aura by night time Creeping upon me these splinters in my mind Need to be pulled from their havens in sight lines I felt some lasting hope dissolve into a bag of bones faster than fate foretold am I lazier than I know The prickling skin I hold is sweating stitches in the cold it's faded in ways unknown amazingly It's my own

I don't want to leave you on the shore of this day dream obelisk black sand cropping up and tides turn ominous death dressed in moon beams mistakes me for a part of this i painted all my skin with the wind for this partnership sober when slobbering, convulsive and bothersome my blood steeps in cardamom pods in a spacecraft deny my escape route when time pass and burrow in the belly of a beast sleep in tall grass a dry laugh crack on the back of your head you were not dreaming again or reading a book from the end to finish upending the sentence that lead apricot, lemon wedge, pack of pall malls in the sheets of your bed denying your ghost by staying the host or demon instead or having nobody having nobody having nobody and to me you are all the same all the same paper lights in the chest of a paper mache hollow man who portrays life without change or upgrades pausing the seconds in sync with music that pauses the same to see what you've missed I'm dying to live in the pauses you've skipped lying in water so warm as you bathe sorting through clothes to give to donation I've been avoiding you I've been avoiding thoughts and the prayers donated from others I've been avoiding you hiding in plain sight sight for the blind can't cope without music or else I might lose it help me with days in can't spend no days in quiet is music I wasn't laughing or singing I'm without music hiding these remnants little that remains much in the way of the clutter happy to sleep in so much for others little that remains all of it detained happy to talk now I've been avoiding it I've been a bastard Sometimes a poet find me in sweaters never in robes always in pj's tie up my belt when I look indisposed happy to stay in never to go you look incredible though thank you I thought that myself needed to tag you in photos I wish you wouldn't sorry i couldn't stay for the whole thing I was avoiding bruises that remain temperature rise to the top once again Can't stand toe to toe with sympathy truth don't run away from cowardice beat it in your brains with your clenched fists you'll probably stay the same unless you find your own way out of this

Brilliant flashes and distractions all around me hope lose focus. front doors open and the coast don't sweep neath teeth when they broken and the floorboards need swept neath rugs crying to a christ when you need hugs sit still moping stand up pace around will somebody feed us throw up hoping that you wake up frozen is the cake from the last choked up birthday you woke up face stuck frozen as the past that you made of smoke in the air no chance to repair or inhale just let go it's a fist to the bone where it broke and the cast just reminds you of hope but no growth ever happens and your leg starts to limp and the fracture is stiff in the rain and the wind and a terror as real as mortality creeps and I try to walk home but I'm swept from my feet I don't like to write to these beats just make em stack em up hoard em keep em safe store em blank spots and boredom hate em deeper praise the speakers trace my fingers on the monitor to think about what could have been I should have said it different but time is thin I wish I had some different skin thicker or just quicker when it mattered stuck to painting but the difference is speaking demon and my legs are leaving while I'm standing still split in 3 segments while I'm waiting for my death to build dirt mounds near my town hold it up shut it down need to get these words out my mouth is echoing to my ears only days i can hear are only days that I have peers i won't accept your compliments but they will make my bones strong just like all these fractures do I wish I had you ghosts upon the shelf hibernate in picture frames ghosts that walk the halls fold the light like paper cranes

All hail this drowning prince who holds weight with words like sinking ships and praise high when raised the mighty fist that turns rocks to dust and grains to grist on eaves as dark and mellow headed while speeding life through x-men bedding a toothless gap while snow fell sledding began a fear of branched beheadings with clothes all wet and stood there trembling frosting crystals beheld a semblance of chilling fright of morning light stood checking pulses to leave time ending and weaving fingers symmetrical through mirrors made acceptable by baggy clothes and ways with words but with hands that write illegible -paces up and down my sidewalk outlined in chalk and smudged as I walk stupified petrified high beams blind inside a private highway side step harms way by hibernating all while standing still and phasing in and out dimensions not perfect but sometimes distant stared a hissing mouth before I fell prepared to greet hounds of hell I wasn't ready for the tidal swell but felt right at home beneath

Disappointed missing sleep and stuck within the sheets all knotted up to tear the covers off my silhouette I'm usually dispensing apparitions to my inner self and teasing mimicry before the visions set the stars I view before I set myself to sea can be no guiding beacon treasure which i have not captured yet tradition is a fatal flaw which locks itself and bears it's teeth to clamp without the hindrance it's free of regret setting you down hope that you make it back home with an eye in your palm stabbing at nothing all that you show are your bones i meant to say teeth brushing between forgetting the steps that you took while alone and turning around and dreams of the sea and burning the bridges you crossed with your feet spoken in tones that you use with your family meant to say home but it's left you uneasy speak in your sleep and it's bleeding on through we distinguish ourselves with a morning between us I wish a thousand nights to make the next day seem alright but I've awakened ghosts who left their pillows drenched in morning light

My dreams of heated honey spiced and mulled groomed and spiked entombed a quarter past a night time moon lie high in grass and skirting backwards upon a matted cloak of beards adults in clothes and smiling shields their faces change while smiles smear like cobwebbed cotton candy fields which bore a house of boards and nails and sanctum shrined in gilded glamour filling buckets watered sand or filling holes like gods and hammers breathing shallow every night and waking dreaming waking life perpetual from stress and grief that man is only flesh and teeth praise high our clothes and sacred meats speak decent scraped and creased leaves speechless bathed in heat streets sinking paved in feet and fear grief's preaching I'm all ears he's reaching beasts in bodies fevers drenched while taken from me and I can't save you all I'm sorry I was made by accident in 81 the summer heat devoured color reaching out it's palms and thumbs and stifled growth and smothered Steven carving features soon to spring uneven traits and tendencies that weave themselves inside of me I should have stopped it there but futures not to be divined and prescient moments are impressions nothing more should be defined a bit of honesty and hubris mixed together intertwined to make a sour bitter blend of boyhood postered in the mind We made our shelter smoothing sandbars in the deepest portions lakes and oceans standing taller than the depths forecast our fortunes building bodies muddled nests and language barricades our reef through thoughts and angst and eyes in sockets souls and bodies lost in pockets grabbing your attention flailing arms into the distance bargains to be better friendships struggle still can't just forget you brother speak to me like i can't comprehend you cause honestly I can't It's not because I never tried it's because I never had the chance

These old men will break your heart With silent, western walls A startled flock of birds That circle near this plot of earth The darkness wakes the dust And stirs the laughter of hyenas A pocket watch Thought gold But now a blue and green patina Letters written Pages bursting Buried under feet and stones A modicum of guilt A pinch of salt An angled shirt with bones What happens to the stuff That used to occupy the air? On days where pregnant clouds Would shrug expectancy and form And I write in different styles But the language stays the same The night drives different miles And the mourning takes the blame I took the reigns at the beginning Begging someone else to steer Into abyss in hopes some lightning might Illuminate the path A fear of growing into skin With slits as eyeholes Slate and grey That harken stoic easygoing Signals Un afraid or lacking wisdom Perfect to display a visage Not easy to maintain The mission Skips until repeats A perfect symphony of heartbreak I never tried to, like Umm… I don’t know… Bend the will of destiny Or display all the best of me It’s more like just what’s left of me Like, here just take the rest of me Not easy to maintain Pluck my eyes before you stroke my hair A hand needs held don’t break the chain They never read the pain as textbook navy blue or ashen grey -He was fine before he came ok Ok I never heard the Punchline landing blows how many struck a nerve that wasn’t tapped On a shore of blank ripples that match The tiles in the kitchen Ripped up and cracked Thrown in the trunk Crashed in the valley/sinking downward Fire burning paints the setting sun Apologies like fine horse hairs in a brush Only significant if you can see em in a bunch In a row Seated side by side Our image shifts Slides of pastels Books of recipes and lists Not even counting all the times I made a wish Stars that crashed into the depths Keeps on passing me by And everyone who asks in passing I’ll always say fine I’ll deviate one day for certain but it always takes time It’s not my friend and I’ve drawn targets on it blacked out it’s eyes

The tattoo would switch reasons under dreamers eyes In a hush that caused static while the speaker sighed I’m alive today he croaks in baritone Left alone chipping teeth like spines sliding in and out of bone Pop the socket in place Don’t want to show the muscle leading to the tables edge a nicely balanced flowered vase Is the room perhaps a bit drafty in the night? Can you see the cars parked with snow that piles up outside? Open up a bit See what people say Sprout gold plated wings Ain’t no feathers that can hold the weight Speed it up a bit Rewrite till you break your back Open up a vein They’ll just skip the f-ing track -Sometimes you want that static when You flip the channels And think in abstract language painting backdrops Celery green walls with red lantern focal points A scene of cold air where steam trails the blacktops Figures play in fields of vision Oblivious yet purposeful And bend the purple light replete With yellow brimming bursting glow I’ve skewed the chain link brought in front And managed to obscure and blur It’s presence set before me meets The stretch of my peripheral But gimme a moment… Who am I again? Let’s retrace my path like Silhouetted dance steps Shoulder glancing distance Empath Misprint It’s a eulogy For lost keys With teeth so crooked Spent the morning In the lock up to my shoulder blade And plastic bags of lunches Hung from wrists and salutary waves Could write a thousand words on how compassion made my choices bend But truth is that there’s little smears of guilt that drip beneath my pen My wrist is smudged Hope tomorrow brings another bridge to burn The weather’s looking promising But sometimes promise is a back stabbing pain your own blade It don’t get sheathed It just stays I’ve got this… fear of success that I’ve drawn the face of failure on Poor art restoration Neck beard Christ Pocket incarnation Cans of laughter filled with pencils My image crosses arms But look down to fingers crossed Beneath black ties and cracked utensils If these songs could fill a weighted blanket Space where nothing lays Asleep on foam for cushion Spine that’s never straight Caffeine headache Coffee maker broken Rip the teabag open in the room temp Dump it out And watch the tea leaves line the sink With a wrinkle in my scalp Where’s my audience? Wear a nice color With a mind that knows no peace Wear a feeding tube Lose some sizes in your jeans Lost incisors and your teeth Lost recipes for foods we’ll never eat Closed eyes that never sleep There’s a processing fee And a fee to not process It’s a layaway plan With bed springs flatter than the Wear in the carpet Knees with no cartilage Stacks of books sacrificed for the harvest Dry wood and burned authors Broken steps means failed sponsors I stroked his hair with semi open eyes he never would have let me get that close while he’s alive

Think we can watch short circuit in the afterlife? Or hide a pile of blankets in the leaves foreshadowing a fall or greater sacrifice That stuffs it’s mouth with snocaps and hums a tune This movie won’t reveal it’s title til the ending Credits scattered throughout just obscures the film held my breath last night and had a friendly conversation reminded me I’m not the type of person that’s worth saving Oh well Farewell I know you’re leaving And I’ll be Right here Slouching For months and seasons Each one Meaning something different Though I cannot For the life of me Pronounce the mission I’ll tune my radio depending on your frequency -and speak your words to strangers without pleasantries placed inside the kiln And paint myself in heated strokes With winter window film The mystery is safe within What will I be if I can just uncork And redirect? Or motivate the stiffness to be loosened Into drying sand I write to you and though it’s hidden means no disrespect -this gesture from myself to you beneath the land I Never wanted summer to end And all the hot rains smell like crayons Get the first bird fed I’m a shoulder that’s been cried on Eroded until times gone Now it just feels like it’s time for bed I vow to dream of you and misinterpret meaning A congregation with its flock that’s missing limbs -We’re both dragging ourselves towards nothing somehow understand it’s only us that’s really him I try to nourish you/ force a habit down my hands that don’t know better Seeking praise or something else shelves are lined with plates you bought and hid beneath your bed Along with coins you never spent but saved them all since I was twelve I scratch while writing all the same songs and paper thin emotions -forming to a painted mask I wear the mask when I’m alone and paint the cabinets to look the same they’ve always looked A looping comfort needed task Please don't try this at home they'll see the bloated swollen rotted wood that you've been calling your throne and all the papers you've saved and your face that needs shaved and in the morning they can tell you've been dissolving alone I see the window from the garden like it's 88 spent the summer digging in your heart like it was made from clay camping in the valley under skies that never darkened gray a film like trading places but the title screen will just say-

How am I supposed to store you in the common ground? A scream with words in it Black chairs speckled roofless hallways zoomed out Drone footage Orange through the blue window You with me? Doppelgänger dipped in the night One set of footprints left heel drags Pulls the vines out Picture the silhouette Well defined Leave no shadow To slap across the ground Just spills the lines out Only walk when the fog rolls heavy Only talk through the static When the call drops Had a fake id with your name on it I think I dropped it on the same call Think we’ll ask this bridge for directions Think the rain stopped links in the chain Think the backwards swim works the same with your legs crossed and the sink going down tastes as plain I hate to say it Something’s on my mind I love complaining But the noise Ac drones out cicadas Shells thick in the concrete painted over Legacy like that huh? With a constant weight - shouldered Field all red Mask worn sacred then it’s tossed From generation Time capsule buried Scraped moss Where the peet still wet And no directions for your feet Seem in step But greased Running man hunted man Hunting man Cunning man to be christened Fields of sheep skin And the wolves undressed In an aerial view it looks like shadows To be pressed in a suit Or torn armor with the breast plate loose And the chain mail gives away Secret skin torn paper Ancient hand made And I was Locked in step Marker colored hands been touching walls Beautiful before the coat of paint destroys it Dagger to the chest Failure ain’t the best But the comforts in the rest Landing on the moon With the tv’s turned off No fields of snow Just a bear to bare your crest Zoned out They’ve been fishing in the shallow end again Slice the sky upon its vacuous maw Don’t forget they keep you in your collars praise the water Keep on singing like defense keeps on swinging to the fences And the tension cracks a spine or two Motor hums blank songs black pitch teeth grit magician in the smoke lodge prepares another trick diamonds from his palms to his wrists And I sit there content Immobile unflinching unblinking and finally Bored above all else i feel my stomach upset it’s in my walk before I leap towards the exit The tent flaps in the dust The study of a tiny bit of everything This never claimed to be brilliant I mean it’s just a sea shell For christs sake The best mirages all involve water anyway